


Jo Haseul: vampire & vlogger

by eelegy



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, That's it, haseul sucks blood and starts a vlog, i just wanted some more silly haseul content, i swear i'm gonna make this a real fic soon, this is....arguably a fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2021-01-03 11:13:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21178478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eelegy/pseuds/eelegy
Summary: I swear this started as "How can I combine two vampire premises: Carmilla and What We Do In The Shadows?", but it ended up as "Stupid vampires start a classic vlog channel," so maybe pretend 2000s vloggers are terrifying?





	Jo Haseul: vampire & vlogger

**Author's Note:**

> I swear this started as "How can I combine two vampire premises: Carmilla and What We Do In The Shadows?", but it ended up as "Stupid vampires start a classic vlog channel," so maybe pretend 2000s vloggers are terrifying?

**First Video! A Hello From A #Vampire!**

“Hey, uhhhh, is this on?”

The woman is way too close to the camera, only half of her face fitting into the frame. She’s jimmying around with the way the camera is mounted and almost drops it, catching it with wide eyes (well, eye, we can only see one).

She puts the camera back in place and hovers over it for a second, making sure it doesn’t fall. When she’s satisfied that the camera is settled, she sits back and shows off deadly sharp canines with her crooked, goofy grin. She doesn't look a day over 22, but her fashion begs to differ.

She's dressed in what can only be described as a ludicrously poofy shirt, the collar is so frilly, it could almost pass as a Victorian collar. In fact, it might even be one? The cuffs are so...involved that her hands are barely visible.

When she stands up to turn on the light behind the camera, her pants are visible (and it is clear they were not meant to be seen, as they are, unfortunately, bright green basketball shorts). 

When she is finally settled, she looks into the camera and waves. “Hi! I'm Jo Haseul! Welcome to my YouTube channel!” Haseul flicks her bob dramatically out of her face and winks. Someone off screen muffles a cough, perhaps stifling a reaction? “I'm 406 years and 7 months old, but,” She leans in close, conspiratorially, “let's just go with 22.”

Someone off the screen pipes up, “You keep track of months? Nerd.”

Haseul blushes and moves back away from the camera. “Anyway, I haven't seen a lot of good, reliable content on here about vampires, so I decided I'd be the change! I’d love to clear up some common misconceptions and maybe do some Q&As?” She claps her tiny hands together, the cuffs fluttering wildly as she does so. “I'm really excited to get started!”

**The Girlfriend Tag**

“Hi everyone! Welcome back to my channel! Since this is my tenth video, I wanted to do something a little different. You might have heard her in the background of my other videos giving me a hard time,” Haseul glares playfully at someone outside of the frame, “but I want you all to officially meet my girlfriend, Ms. Kim Jungeun!”

Jungeun slides into the screen smoothly, wearing only a very large, soft-looking flannel (the comments would later point out that this is the one Haseul wore in her “what does sunlight do to vampires?” video). “No relation to anyone else with this name. I had it first.”

Haseul claps her hands, clearly a little giddy. “Okay! So! I have a list of questions to ask you and you have one for me. So let’s get started!”

Haseul clears her throat dramatically and brandishes her list, scrawled in chicken scratch on loose leaf paper. “Where did we meet?”

Jungeun smiles a little fondly. “You got yourself caught under a stairwell, stupid.”

Haseul blushes, “Well! I was trying to get out of the sunlight and you caught me at a bad time! Not my proudest moment for sure, but-”

“But somehow it was the 90s and you hadn’t heard of sunscreen.”

“Um...next question?”

Jungeun chuckles and rolls her eyes, “Okay, sure. Where was our first date?”

Haseul blanches, “Is this a quiz?”

“Do you not remember?” Jungeun raises her eyebrows.

“N-no! It’s not that!” Haseul puts out her hands, clearly stressed. “I definitely know it! It was, um? The coffee shop where you ate fourteen sticky buns and got sick an hour later!”

Jungeun turns bright red. “Couldn’t you have just said the cafe? You didn’t have to bring up the buns.” 

“But we’ve been to so many cafes! The sticky buns is something to differentiate that visit!”

Jungeun sighs, “I still can’t eat them…my favorite food…”

Haseul, at the same time, murmurs, “And that’s when I fell in love…’

Jungeun looks at her sharply. “That’s what did it for you?”

“Well, yeah?” Haseul shrugs.

Jungeun looks at her for a second before tackling her. The camera cuts off with the thump of a body hitting the mattress. The rest of the video is white text on a black background with happy piano music playing in the background:

  1. Where/when was our first kiss?  
Jungeun: A Wendy’s booth. Not the most romantic, but it tasted good. I’m gonna go pick up a burger now.
  2. Which blood type do I like/hate?  
Haseul: Type A is really chalky. I prefer O. Goes down way smoother.
  3. What am I really bad at?  
Jungeun: Cleaning…
  4. What’s my weirdest habit?  
Haseul: Stop throwing out my socks!
  5. Complete this sentence: “My girlfriend/boyfriend is ______”  
J: Messy.
  6. What is something you wish I didn’t do?  
Haseul: Throw out my socks. >:(
  7. What is my weirdest interest?  
Jungeun: well, you like [the rest of this sentence has been redacted by Jo Haseul.]
  8. Who is the dominant one in our relationship?  
H: ;)

[Note from Haseul: Sorry we couldn’t film the rest! We got distracted!]

**[Channel name changes to Seul&Jungie]**

**What’s in my bag?**

Haseul

  1. Different vials of blood in varying molarities of sugar and iron
  2. A pocket mirror
  3. Assorted cassette tapes
  4. 15 muffin wrappers (J: Ugh, really. I don’t even know how I can find you cute when this is how you insist on living.)
  5. A two-week-old eggo waffle (H: I forgot about this!)

Jungeun

  1. Car keys
  2. a money clip that says 'Blood money'
  3. a pair of costume vampire teeth earrings (H: You think you’re really funny, don’t you? J: I know I am.)
  4. 3 lipsticks (J: What can I say? I know how to show off my assets.)
  5. McDonalds coupons that expired 15 years ago (J: Aw, shoot.)

**[TEASER] How well does my roommate know me?**

“Hey all! I’m excited to announce we’ve hit 50,000 subscribers, so I want to introduce you to the second special woman in my life: my roommate, Jung Jinsoul!” Haseul hauls a rumpled-looking woman into frame, she’s dressed in a shirt with a cartoon erlenmeyer flask making a dick joke on it.

Somehow, it says all that needs to be said about her, but she introduces herself anyway. “Hey y’all! I’m, uh, Jin-SOUL.” Her volume increases sharply at the second syllable and clearly startles Haseul. She flashes a rocker sign and winks. I’m this lady’s roomie! We’re gonna do an, uh, what was it again?

Haseul smiles, clearly a little frazzled. “A video called ‘How well does my roommate know me?’” She turns back to the camera, “Since she’s at the lab all the time, I’m really curious what she knows about me and Jungeun. Stay tuned! It’ll come out this Thursday!”

**#JustJungeun: planning a special night, so shhh**

“Hey all, this is Jungeun. I’ll be uploading this a few days after the event I have planned since I know some of you will snitch if I don’t.” Jungeun is waiting at a stoplight and there’s the distinct roar of traffic in the background. “I’m on my way to get some flowers and pick up the ingredients for tonight.”

Jungeun looks both ways before jogging across the street. The camera is swinging wildly and there’s a loud honk before she steadies the camera and smiles again, flashing her fangs. She’s wearing a tank top and the comments are split between “Her shoulders…[dreamy emoji]” and “How is she not getting the Nocturn Sun Rash?!?”.

“Okay guys. I’m putting away the camera while I shop.”

The next shot is of the kitchen, which has only been shown briefly in the house tour (which Haseul had thought herself so clever for titling “MTV Crypts”).

“I’m back,” Jungeun furrows her eyebrows, “but I guess it’s been half a second for you. Anyway, I’m here in the kitchen making ravioli. I’ve never made it before, but it’s what Haseul gets on special occasions at restaurants, so I’m going to try and make it.”

Jungeun begins pulling out ingredients. She’s wearing a flannel with 1920s bloomers. It’s a fashion disaster, but she’s pulling it off.

“Haseul’s been pretty down lately with all the anti-vamp stuff that’s been in the news since that attack, so I’m trying to cheer her up. I’d like to do most of the cooking, but last time I had Haseul do the dishes, I found an entire anchovy on of of the plates. I don’t even think we had anchovies in the house. So now she does the cooking and I do the dishes. But Haseul gets home late tonight, so this will be a really nice surprise for her.” Jungeun’s eyes get really soft and she bites her lip, one fang poking out. “I really hope she likes it…”


End file.
